No Pressure No Diamond
The holiday’s are officially over and we are back and ready to kick 2020’s butt! If you’re anything like us you are still adjusting back into the busy bustle of your hectic daily schedule after all the holiday hoopla. This adjustment is hard on the kiddos too. They’ve been out of school, out of martial arts class and obligation free for over a week. Fortnight, Minecraft, or their newly gifted phone or tablet has been their primary devotion with this excess free time, but now that time has drawn to a close. School will be starting again and martial arts class and other obligations are calling.
Some kids readily jump back into these routines, excited to see friends and favorite teachers again. But for other’s the idea of giving up their free time, turning off their games and getting off the couch to return to the real world is just too much. Your normally happy Little Warrior suddenly becomes an angry tyrant full of objections and excuses. Now getting their once treasured belt on and getting to the car in a timely manner has become a chore-like battle. We’ve heard the stories and we’ve seen you nudge your usually happy little one onto the mat and shut the door hoping our instructors can reason with them and remind them of all the reasons they love martial arts class. No worries, it happens to the best of us. Regardless of when this sudden attitude change occurs, there will always come a point when a child suddenly digs their heels in and begins that descent towards quitting. Sometimes it’s a gradual change. At first it’s an occasional “I’m too tired to go to class today” or “Can we please skip, just this once?” But sometimes a long break in routine can trigger the dreaded words “I want to quit.” So what do we do? Do we give in because we are already stretched thin as is or do we take this moment and turn it into a life lesson?
The truth is children need to be pushed. Children will not brush their teeth, eat regular meals, or go to school unless adults make them. As parents, you ave to push and shape your Little Warriors until one day they realize the wisdom (and necessity) of follow through and not quitting. Only then are they able to venture out into the world on their own, fully equipped for the challenges of adulthood that lie ahead. You don’t get a diamond without a little pressure and the same goes with children. The only way for them to achieve their full potential is for us to show them that this lofty goal is what they should be pushing and striving towards.
Now there are plenty of valid reasons to quit an activity or sport. Your child might be stretched too thin and feel like they can’t meet any goals in any activity because there are simply too many to achieve at once. Maybe the activity is more your passion than theirs? Perhaps the team or coach is not a good fit for your child’s individual needs or learning style. Maybe they’re unable to keep up at this level and are now feeling left out or bullied. It happens. But every desire to give up or quit has to be carefully examined and reviewed with the child in context or else quitting when things get hard can quickly become a bad habit that turns into a lifelong problem.
But being anxious about returning to class after a break or a little nervous that they’re out of practice is never a valid reason to quit an activity. Not when sticking with it offers so much room for growth and character building. Managing distress is a skill set that is severely lacking in our newest generation of adults. If this seems to be the reason your child wants to quit encourage them to face those doubts and provide them with the needed extra support as they do so. Every stressful situation conquered bolsters the strength and resiliency your child will have in the future. Strength, resiliency- those sound like Warrior worthy characteristics to us. Remember every diamond is just a lump of coal without the pressure it needs to form. Your little ones greatest potential is the same way.
Whatever the reason and whenever the season of life, we hope these musings help you decide whether quitting martial arts, a sports team, or musical lessons is right for you and your family. Over all we are excited to see everyone back on the mat and all of the potential we can unlock together as we crush our goals in 2021. Even if it’s a little rocky getting back into the swing of things we’re excited to be back at it and grateful for the challenges ahead. Because we know it is those challenging experiences that build the strongest character and we want to help you make your Little Warrior the strongest ‘diamond’ around.
