“I DON”T WANT TO GO TO CLASS”
I know every parent in this school has heard this at least a dozen times. I even have parents come in so frustrated that they want to kill their children because they are just such a pain in the butt about coming to class at times. It isn’t that they don’t like it when they get here. They always have a smile on their face when class is over and they always feel like they have accomplished something while they are here. So why all the resistance? Don’t they know by now how great this is for them? Well, think about it from a kid’s point of view. I have been told what to do all day at school. When I get home I just want to log into my Xbox and let my mind go where it wants to go and just chill. Kids live in the moment. They don’t think about next week, next month or next year. All they see is that I am having fun here and now on my Xbox blowing up stuff with my friends. Why should I get up and do something else? Especially if I am having problems with my form or sparring? Why work on it? Why get better? I am comfortable and having fun here and now. For the next 5 minutes (which will turn into hours) I am going to sit here and be a slave to my impulses as well as the instant gratification I am getting sitting here. (Another scenario far less common is that they are actually outside playing with their friends. Why stop playing with them to go somewhere else? It has the same emotional reaction.)
As parents, while you can understand this feeling, you also know that is not what is best for them. Especially if they are facing a new frustration. It is our job to think for the long term and see past the next 5 minutes. Yes, the adult perspective is “I don’t want to deal with this.” But the parent perspective should be “Get in the car or you can give me the power cable to the Xbox!” I know it is hard at times. But in the long run I know they love it once they get there. It doesn’t matter what their mood is when they come through the door to take class. What matters is how they feel when they leave. So long as they leave in good spirits and have done their best on the floor, I know they still love it. I can see, based on the effort in class, when it is time to pull the plug. And I promise you, if I ever see something that makes me believe they really don’t like it I will let you know and we will be done. Why? I would rather pull the plug early so there is chance that they will come back in the future than for it to become such a negative experience they will never even think of doing it again.
When does it get better? Let me see. Mr. Drew Cain started when he was 10 years old, and he is now married, a 4th Degree Black Belt, a Sr. certified instructor, loves his time on the floor and loves hanging out with the students. Yet I had this exact conversation with him a few years ago! TRUST ME, IT DRIVES ME FREAKING CRAZY TOO! But after the night is done, after all the kids have left, all we can talk about is what happened in class. So I know, the parents made the right call.
