Ever work on your computer when something just goes wrong for whatever reason. That ghost in the machine just decides not to cooperate and then suddenly, nothing works quite right. It isn’t that serious. But after a while, you know that you have to reboot that computer, unplug the router or cut the power to the cable box. Then, when the power is back on, everything works fine. Well, believe it or not, people need rebooting too. Especially kids. People get so fixated on some minor matter that you have to do something a little more radical in order to get them to adjust and reevaluate their perspective.

You should see it when a person gets the wind knocked out of them for the first time while sparring. They actually think they are going to die. They bend over, grab their stomach, start crying and turn into a ball if you let them. That natural reaction is actually the worst thing you can do because it makes the pain last longer. What you need to do is stand up, get your hands up and stretch your diaphragm so you can start breathing normally. Then the pain goes away in a matter of minutes or seconds. When that happens on the floor, you will hear all the instructors yell at the person to stand up and put their hands over their head! Most do it and are fine in seconds.

But occasionally, I have a kid panic. That is when I snap into “reboot” mode. I yell at them and they suddenly look at me and the first thing they do is inhale (a fear response) and stand motionless until I can get to them, grab their hands and put them above their head. Between the yell and me coming at them, they momentarily forget they can’t breath or that they are in any pain. All they are wondering is what is going to happen next. Within seconds, the fear response and the stretched arms relax them and they start breathing. You can see the pain evaporate from their face and their brain beginning to understand that they are, indeed, ok. As I hold their hands up, I start to smile at them, tell them a joke or two and get them laughing. By the time I let them go, they are perfectly fine and ready to keep going.

In this, as with many situations on an emotional level, I could be Dr. Spock and reason with them. But that only allows the pain to continue as they think about the pain and emotional leakage occurs. I have found that the best way to deal with this situation is to pull a Vince Lombardi. I give it to them straight and between the eyes. This is when they toughen up, realize it’s not that serious, reboot and move on.

Then they reboot and move on.