Relax

One of the hardest things to get people to do, especially adults, is to relax. No, I am not talking about the sitting by a pool with a margarita in hand and Jimmy Buffett playing in the background kind of relax. I am talking about how to relax mentally while actually trying to do something in class. Adults are the hardest to teach this concept because they bring so much baggage with them when they come into the school. If you ask any of my adult students, one of the things they hear me say the most is “Relax and Slow Down.” That is because if we want to be truly effective in what we are doing, we have to live in the moment and relax all the muscles that we don’t need so that the muscles we do need provide little to no resistance. If we are tense, overthink, or worry about what will happen if we don’t succeed, we end up increasing the resistance and fighting ourselves and we won’t succeed. Its like driving with the parking brake on, everything burns up.

To truly excel, you have to let go and let it happen. The most obvious place for parents to see this is in board breaking. Ever see the person really hit it hard and it not break? That is because they hit it slow. Whether they overstepped their approach, took their eyes off the target or just tried so hard they tensed up, in the end they did not generate enough speed or power to break the board. The mind has to be clear and the body relaxed in order to break consistently. And the more boards you break, the more relaxed you have to be.

Why am I bringing this up and using boards as my primary example? Because many of the parents out there are overthinking it, over-stressing about it and over-stressing breaking to the point the kids are confused. If their minds are swimming with conflict, their kicks will get inconsistent and they won’t break. This is also true for forms and sparring. If you mind is cluttered, mistakes happen. But for parents they don’t see it as easily. While I know you are trying to help, you are actually doing the opposite, so RELAX. If you are relaxed, they will be too. And if they don’t break their board? That’s fine. Sooner or later they will. Any accomplishment worth having has to be difficult and something we have to do for ourselves.

There is so much positive that comes from participating in athletics that no matter what the outcome, you win. Not place at the tournament? No problem, I tried hard and looked good. Not break my board at testing? Yeah, it stinks but mom and dad were proud that I was up there trying hard. Give up? Never!