“My Child is Advanced for Their Age”
Ah yes, the classic “my child is advanced for their age” moments. A few things usually play into that mindset — some understandable, some just... extra. And yes, we experience these parents quite often here at Strickland’s Martial Arts. It happens more often than you think, especially with our four and five year old Tiny Tigers. What’s wild is that when kids are placed in the right class for their age and stage, they thrive — even if it's not the "junior" level just yet. But when parents push too hard, the kid ends up overwhelmed and frustrated — and then they quit. Remember, martial arts should build confidence, not crush it so "Let your five-year-old be five. The black belt mindset starts with joy, not pressure."
Here’s why so many of our parents believe their five-year-old Tiny Tiger is totally ready for junior martial arts classes (even when they know they might not be!) and why we tell them they are not, and to trust our judgment and give their child time.
1. Overestimating Maturity
A five-year-old who says “please” and “thank you” or can sit through a movie might seem mature… but our Tiny Tigers class requires listening, focus, body control, discipline, and the ability to handle correction. Parents far often confuse being well-behaved at home with being ready for structured group learning at a higher level of learning even when their child isnt emotionally ready for that next level of learning. A kindergarten student is not a middles school student.
2. Seeing Martial Arts as Daycare With Punches
Some of our parents truly think of our martial arts classes as just another extracurricular activity — like dance or tumbling — and don’t realize how much structure, etiquette, and self-regulation is involved. It’s not just about movement; it’s a whole mindset of discipline.
3. Pride and Projection
All parents naturally want to believe their child is exceptional. So if their kid has good physical coordination or a big personality, they might project that into thinking the child is ready for older or more intense training when their child is not. It’s not about keeping up with the Jones’es!
4. Lack of Understanding of Developmental Stages
A lot of parents don’t realize that self-regulation, impulse control, and attention span are skills that develop over time. So they’ll say things like “He’s just hyper,” when really, the child just isn’t developmentally ready for that kind of discipline yet. At five, the goal isn’t perfect stances or memorizing entire forms. It’s learning to follow directions, move their body with intention, and have fun. When parents interrupt or correct from the sidelines, it kills the vibe and puts pressure where there should be play. Remember “Joy Builds Discipline”.
5. They Want Their Kid to “Get Ahead” Early
Some parents think starting early means their child will become a black belt faster or be more successful in the long run. So they push their kid into junior classes even if the child isn’t mentally or emotionally there yet. If a child associates martial arts with stress, correction, and pressure — they’ll quit. But if they associate it with fun, pride, and small wins, they build intrinsic motivation. That’s how you raise a future black belt. It’s Not About Perfection — It’s About Participation!
6. Parental Instinct
In truth parents are hardwired to protect, guide, and teach their kids — it’s in the job description. So sometimes they assume their way of doing things is always best, even if they don’t actually have experience in something like martial arts. They think that learning martial arts is easy and push to move their child to the next level, even when that child’s just not ready to make such a move.
7. “I took karate too…” syndrome
You’d be surprised how many parents think their two months of Tae Kwon Do or their black belt back when qualifies them as experts. That nostalgia creates a sense of authority that’s, uh, a little overblown. Being a student of the arts is not the same as being and teacher of the arts. Besides we don’t just teach Taekwondo, we teach several martial arts in this school.
8. They Know Their Kid (and That’s Fair)
Parents usually do have insight into what motivates or frustrates their child. So sometimes their input comes from a good place — they want to help our instructors understand how to reach their kid better. But that doesn’t always mean they know how to teach martial arts.
9. Control Issues
Some just can’t help themselves. Martial arts teaches discipline, respect, and independence — which means parents have to take a backseat while someone else sets the rules. That’s tough for parents who are used to being in charge 24/7.
10. Confusing Teaching with Coaching
A lot of parents think encouragement and motivation is teaching. Coaching Overload = Confused Kids. Parents might step in to give advice or corrections, not realizing it contradicts what our instructors are trying to build — especially with forms, discipline, or technique. When a parent is offer advice from the sideline while our instructor is giving directions, the child has no idea who to listen to. That leads to hesitation, mistakes, and anxiety. Let the instructor teach — that’s their job, and they are good at it.
11. It’s Their Journey, Not Yours
Martial arts teaches independence. Kids need space to struggle, improve, and own their progress. Hovering and micromanaging takes that away and makes it your ego project — not their personal growth.
All we ask is that you “Trust the Process!”
We structure our classes every semester on purpose — to match where our kids are developmentally. What looks like play is actually carefully designed skill-building. As parents you just need to trust it. The Tiny Tigers will mature and grow and make progress, as will the leveling up to the juniors, just give it time— but the joy needs to come first.
“At five years old, the only goal is that they leave here smiling, sweaty, and wanting to come back.” That’s success for everyone!
