Just say NO!

Bully Prevention and Awareness was the month of October and I would feel irresponsible if I didn’t address this issue. I could point out all the facts and delve deep into all the facts and figures that everyone else is already talking about. I could rail against this or that and sound just like all the other people writing or talking about it. But I won’t because; bully defense is actually quite simple. It is about saying NO.

People are programmed to say YES. YES is how we cooperate in a civilized society. YES gets up accepted. YES makes other people happy. So saying YES becomes a habit. YES is the easy answer. If we say YES, people will like us and we will have more friends. It doesn’t matter if we really like someone, respect someone, or want to be with someone, we will say YES to make them happy even if it doesn’t make us happy because, after all, if we say YES they will like us.

That may sound ridiculous at first. But the more you think about it, just think about how many times you have said yes...But wanted to say NO! Now imagine being a kid. Someone is playing rough with you. Or they are not treating you well. You want to say NO, but you want to be liked. So you assume saying YES will make it all better and it will go away. But the more you say YES, the worst it gets.

I however love the word NO. Just ask my staff and they will tell you I LOVE the word NO. I will say it at least twice before I say YES. Why? Because you can always say YES after you say NO; but you can’t say NO after you say YES.

Now, imagine you are that same kid. Someone is disrespecting you or being more physical than you would like. You say NO, and walk away. Refuse to play. That refusal of acknowledgement and rejection is hard for someone to take. Even if that someone feels superior and like they have some reason to treat you poorly. It adjusts their thinking. NO is a powerful word. NO is a word of assertiveness. More than anything else, NO means you value your own opinion and have respect for yourself. NO means that if you do not make me happy, I will not make you happy. NO reestablishes order and puts things in balance. NO means, I will control what I am doing in my life and whom I will be doing it with.

If you want to make a kid bully proof, teach them that it is perfectly fine to say NO! Show them how to say NO! Then show them how to back up that NO with action! Then back them up when they do!