I have found that a good many of the students I lose simply give up on the program because they are simply allergic to both structure and discipline while others haven’t grasped the importance of what it is they are doing here in the first place, or what it is that this program truly offers. All the years I have been teaching martial arts I have never had any student ages 5 through13 years old ever tell me that they came to the school to learn structure, discipline, exercise, manners, self-defense, or self-esteem. These have always been the things the parents were looking for. It’s the “Martial” part of the martial arts program that appealed to them. Besides what parent would leave it to a child to make the decisions of what they can or can’t do anyway? The way I see it most parents make the decisions for their children, some that their children may not find popular, but that are for their own good, such as setting a bedtime, dinnertime, what movies they can watch, what cloths they can wear, and on and on. These decisions are made in the child’s best interest by their parents for it is they that are the boss, not the other way around. When a parent empowers a child with decision making like whether or not they are going to martial arts class it isn’t the best thing for their child. Most parents don’t want to force their children to face up to the consequences of their own actions and so cave in, especially after a poor performance in class, at a testing, a tournament, or following time off from a holiday or a break. I often wonder if it would it be any different if their child decided not to go to school or do their homework? Or not to play in the ball game they are committed to, thus giving up on their teammates. Or maybe just saying they weren’t going to eat the meal you prepared for them because they wanted a “Happy Meal” from McDonalds instead! These situations are in no way different.

As parents it’s important to remember the reasons you brought your child to this center in the first place and the goals set before them at the time they first placed that white belt around their waist. We all know as adults that If you want more out of life, you have to work hard for it. Discipline is an acquired trait that is learned over time. It first starts in the home and is reinforced in this school and spills over into everything they do. By avoiding struggles and failure one gain nothing as you have risked nothing. It is at the time of our greatest struggles that we find what we are made of. Taking a break for an extended time or giving up when one has gone as far as they think they can go, is not always the best thing. So next time you hear “I don’t want to go” be firm and bring your child to class, as you know as well as I do, that it is in their best interest!